Saturday, July 13, 2013

Ramadhan - day 3 1432 Hijrah

this one caught my eye while browsing Fb..

it's true... Adam and Hawa were sinned and descended to Dunya (Earth) as punishment for disobeying Allah's command not to eat the Khuldi fruit *if im not mistaken*

it is our 2nd "world" after the WOMB and happens to be the longest one we are in.

"worlds" every insaan has to go through :

1- the womb
2- dunya
3- barzakh
4- akhirah

Adam's original "HOME" was the paradise ( our eternal home eventually for the doers of good) , but it seems like we often make dunya our priority and neglect our preparations that could  be done for Akhirah, the eternal home of ours. this is a reminder to myself also.

do everything that makes us closer to Allah everyday, even if it's a small thing. Allah loves those who are  Istiqamah in Ibadah.

im really attaracted to Maher Zain's song - DUNYA's beautiful and constantly remind me of my purpose here as a slave of Allah.

"This Worldly Life (Dunya)"

How beautiful, is this worldly life
But not a soul shall remain
We all come into this world
Only to leave it one day

I can see that everything around me
Rises then fades away
Life is just a passing moment
Nothing is meant to stay
, oh

This worldly life has an end
And it's then real life begins

A world where we will live forever

This beautiful worldly life has an end
It's a just bridge that must be crossed
To a life that will go on forever

So many years, quickly slipping by
Like the Sleepers of the Cave
Wake up and make a choice
Before we end up in our graves
O God! You didn't put me here in vain
I know I'll be held accountable for what I do
This life is just a journey
And it's taking me back to You

This worldly life has an end
And it's then real life begins
A world where we will live forever
This beautiful worldly life has an end
It's a just bridge that must be crossed
To a life that will go on forever

So many get caught in this beautiful web
Its gardens become an infatuation
But surely they'll understand at the final stop
That its gardens are meant for cultivation
, oh

This worldly life has an end
And it's then real life begins
A world where we will live forever
This beautiful worldly life has an end
It's a just bridge that must be crossed
To a life that will go on forever

so remember everyone, Dunya is just a bridge to Akhirah, wise people wont build a big house on a bridge right? our destination is Akhirah , and the goal is Paradise.

Balance up our deeds for Dunya and Akhirah, we all could  meet as neighbours in Jannatul Firdaus . in shaa Allah .Amiin  =)

Friday, July 5, 2013


mine's pessimistic and skeptic.. susah nak introduce benda baru to them.. even small matter like buying clothings online pon, they are skeptical about it..

it's a lot easier if ur like me right lazy to go out and spend hours on foot looking for the right baju raya. im being innovative and not hurting anyone, but they still narrowing their minds to the narrowest alley ..huhu.. apa dah ni

im dissapointed . they cant even be supportive to me for smallest matter like changing the way of buying clothings or stuff .. 

like when i ask for my mom's address coz if i give our home address none is home or im sleeping ke apa, she refused to cooperate and acted like i ask her to give up our house or sth...

 it's so frustrating u know, when u and ur parents differ in a GREAT way! why not open up to new horizon? stop being soo pessimistic and see how that goes.. i was just buying clothings not multimillion dollar house! ok

nothing can go right if i do what im abt to do according to them...

just because i do it differently than usual, doesnt mean it wont work like always right.. ?

how i deal with it:

most of the time, i'll explain a bit, they bash with negative, skeptic statement.i just shut up, exhale, walk away.. if i get sensitive, i'll cry in my room. haaaaaa tudiaaa...

sad lar..... aren't parents supposed to be supportive?

i don't wanna be a parent like that in the future. i'll try to be a good listener to my child if i were a mom..if it's good, i support..why not? there's no need to be skeptic to anythin new right?

i took psychology in my first semester and i learnt that degree of ATTACHMENT is according to mommy's response towards  her child's biological needs. the more responsive the mother to her child, the closer the attachment.

and mine to my mom, when i was little, was very "little"meaning if shes there it's ok if shes not there pon, it's no impact to the child.

i do love my mom. she puts my needs before her needs now i see it as i grow mature everyday,

but back then, the attachment of me to my mom was very subtle. i even thought i was adopted *it's true!! and i told her how i felt , i even asked her haha*. worse i thought my granny was my mom hahaha!

my mom was sick when i was born.. so she coudnt take care of me when i was a baby. i lived with my grandparents till i was 7.

then when they take me back  living with them when i was 8. i got separation anxiety but none was a shock to live fulltime with them..when my granny was alive, they visited me every week .. in fact the back to back separation anxiety caused by the weekly visit by my parents effect my emotional condition as a child right. when my parents left as they were going back home, and me left with my grandparents at kampong, i cried. when i had to leave my grandparents weekly sometimes and lived with parents also, i cried. see? unstable emotions.. i wasnt a happy baby.

according to what ive learnt in psycho class, a happy baby will developed to a smart, confident and independent etc person with high self esteem..and i think thats what im lacking due to all this, = high self esteem. im improving it myself im trying to be + all the time, and try to be different from the "root" i belong to.. a's not all bad.. i just cant take when anyone being constantly  pessimistic...

ahahah my emo story

i do love my parents. god's gift for me. when i was in my darkest hour, they were the ones who were with me when everyone turned their back *i'll have an entry on this* ,but something abt them i disagree thats just venting out frustration on one thing.
 i dont want to do what they do to me to my future children..

i read somewhere, when ur child tells u everything is a sign of successful parenting.

most of the time, i write in blog or in my diary hahaha . that's a lot easier.. besides, talking is tiring. writing and typing is a lot easier. it's ok, i dont blame them.. not all parents have perfect parenthood. we are all FLAWED.

speaking of parenthood,i do admire DR Halina Yunos mommyhood journey. her way of raising her children, the way she talks to her child, Sophea Isabella..Bella, she's an example of a happy baby. do read her blog .it's awesome!!! her blog is always sth i come back to tho im not yet a mom. so informative and enjoyable at the same time =)  nice! check this out Barelysupermommy . 

i wana be a mom like her =)

and do love our parents bcoz we're nobody without them.