Friday, July 5, 2013

parents

mine's pessimistic and skeptic.. susah nak introduce benda baru to them.. even small matter like buying clothings online pon, they are skeptical about it..

it's a lot easier if ur like me right lazy to go out and spend hours on foot looking for the right baju raya. im being innovative and not hurting anyone, but they still narrowing their minds to the narrowest alley ..huhu.. apa dah ni

im dissapointed . they cant even be supportive to me for smallest matter like changing the way of buying clothings or stuff .. 

like when i ask for my mom's address coz if i give our home address none is home or im sleeping ke apa, she refused to cooperate and acted like i ask her to give up our house or sth...

 it's so frustrating u know, when u and ur parents differ in a GREAT way! why not open up to new horizon? stop being soo pessimistic and see how that goes.. i was just buying clothings not multimillion dollar house! ok

nothing can go right if i do what im abt to do according to them...

just because i do it differently than usual, doesnt mean it wont work like always right.. ?

how i deal with it:

most of the time, i'll explain a bit, they bash with negative, skeptic statement.i just shut up, exhale, walk away.. if i get sensitive, i'll cry in my room. haaaaaa tudiaaa...

sad lar..... aren't parents supposed to be supportive?

i don't wanna be a parent like that in the future. i'll try to be a good listener to my child if i were a mom..if it's good, i support..why not? there's no need to be skeptic to anythin new right?

i took psychology in my first semester and i learnt that degree of ATTACHMENT is according to mommy's response towards  her child's biological needs. the more responsive the mother to her child, the closer the attachment.

and mine to my mom, when i was little, was very "little"meaning if shes there it's ok if shes not there pon, it's ok.like no impact to the child.

i do love my mom. she puts my needs before her needs now i see it as i grow mature everyday,

but back then, the attachment of me to my mom was very subtle. i even thought i was adopted *it's true!! and i told her how i felt , i even asked her haha*. worse i thought my granny was my mom hahaha!

my mom was sick when i was born.. so she coudnt take care of me when i was a baby. i lived with my grandparents till i was 7.

then when they take me back  living with them when i was 8. i got separation anxiety but none knows..it was a shock to live fulltime with them..when my granny was alive, they visited me every week .. in fact the back to back separation anxiety caused by the weekly visit by my parents effect my emotional condition as a child right. when my parents left as they were going back home, and me left with my grandparents at kampong, i cried. when i had to leave my grandparents weekly sometimes and lived with parents also, i cried. see? unstable emotions.. i wasnt a happy baby.

according to what ive learnt in psycho class, a happy baby will developed to a smart, confident and independent etc person with high self esteem..and i think thats what im lacking due to all this, = high self esteem. im improving it myself im trying to be + all the time, and try to be different from the "root" i belong to.. a bit..it's not all bad.. i just cant take when anyone being constantly  pessimistic...

ahahah my emo story

i do love my parents. god's gift for me. when i was in my darkest hour, they were the ones who were with me when everyone turned their back *i'll have an entry on this* ,but something abt them i disagree thats all.im just venting out frustration on one thing.
 i dont want to do what they do to me to my future children..

i read somewhere, when ur child tells u everything is a sign of successful parenting.

most of the time, i write in blog or in my diary hahaha . that's a lot easier.. besides, talking is tiring. writing and typing is a lot easier. it's ok, i dont blame them.. not all parents have perfect parenthood. we are all FLAWED.

speaking of parenthood,i do admire DR Halina Yunos mommyhood journey. her way of raising her children, the way she talks to her child, Sophea Isabella..Bella, she's an example of a happy baby. do read her blog .it's awesome!!! her blog is always sth i come back to tho im not yet a mom. so informative and enjoyable at the same time =)  nice! check this out Barelysupermommy . 

i wana be a mom like her =)

and do love our parents bcoz we're nobody without them.

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