Losts

im new at this. but id like to share things. i wish i'd be heard this time...

lately, i feel like im alone and my voice doesnt matter to anyone. coz it cant be " heard" and it is sad. ive been through a rough week this week. history that i went through 3 years ago is repeating itslef.

3 years ago, i lost my best friend. now i think i lost another one.

Best Friend#3

Amalina. She lied to me about a lot of things,frequently. and i knew it. i kept forgiving her eventhough i knew she was lying. Bcoz i thought, she might had her own reasons to lie to me. i kept giving her chances coz she's my best friend. Days to weeks and weeks to months, months to years..

till it's 2 years now, it breaks my heart when she didnt realise that i knew she was lying about things, it breaks my heart that she might think i am a stupid that she could easily play some tricks to get rid of me without me figuring it out ! fun huh? but guess what? i knew everything! Lies catch up with u! she lied to me about the new laptop, about her bf, where she was studying, what she does..everything.. i mean, what do u get from lying to people? lying to me, your best friend?! at least, ur ex-best friend.

we met 2 years ago when she moved back to her old school.she couldnt stay at her boarding school for her medical conditions. Her spine. That was where i was studying, completing my high school year. we had one thing in common that time that made us bonded as friends.

it's her break up. her bf broke up with her, on her very birthday, he sent her a card, and they broke up. the thing is, he has been adoring Amalina's bestfriend, Amira . he was just using Amalina to get to Amira. i felt sad for her when she told her story. Surprisingly, i went through the same thing. my Aussie bf walked out of my life. Since then, we shared our joy n sadness together. but now it's over. it is bcoz of lies n more lies. plus ,it's the lies about guys that i cant stand about!

now that we're 19, she broke up with a guy and told me that he's totally out of her life. But then she went out with me one day, carrying a new, cute purple purse. i asked when did she buy that adorable purse, she said, "He gave it to me, the guy u hate most".. i didnt hate the guy then. BUT she was the one who told me he lied to her ..sort of cheating her with a girl in KL? .
WHAT happened? she hid things from me too i guess..i only hated him bcoz he practically lied to my best friend, Amalina. i had nothing against their relationship if the guy didnt cheat or lie to her o anything.. unfortunately, he did.. sorry dude, i was a protective bestie.. yeah i was!

I liked being friends with her. We did everything together like sisters, she always came over my house and we gossiped about everything! ( typical, thats what gurls do yeah guys sekelian..not mengumpat, we talk abt our hal) We went out to the mall.Makan kat fast food restaurant over n over.. Buy the same mobile phone accessory, share songs, talked abt boys, watching movies like in da cinema ( from lappy je)...Plan to go to the same college.Semua la.I did everything yg i didnt get to do with my previous 2 besties tu..(x yah ingat pon xpe)..I have a lot memories with Amalina than i had with the other 2. I dont have any sista so i liked my bestie being around. But not lately, im uncomfy if shes around. i dono who she is anymore..

I saw she did the lying to show that she's a fabulous person somehow? wow SHE CAN DO THINGS ON HER OWN! dUHH we're 19! ur not that fabulous. Kalau 9 year old go out town alone baru la aku amazed ... Like once, i was out to bandar alone. ( My bros/bodyguard wouldnt wanna go). Then she texted me she was kat bandar too. In a cinema, watching horror sorang2...Yeah right. That was another lie , lie to ME. Then, bila jumpa aku kt PizzaHut, dia cakap sori lambat dgn kawan tadi, dy yg lambatkan aku. Dengan kawan, tadi cakap sorang2...Next, dia duduk la sama makan dgn aku coz we were starvin kan. While eating, ada phone call. Dia jawab. Yeah org dlm phone tu tanya la. Kat mana? Jawabnye, "kat pizza tgh makan..sorang2 la.. pegi tgk movie sorang2, makan sorang2..haah.." Yeah yeah yeah... nape la suka tipu org.....

One more thing, worse, she did the lying when we hang out with other friends; and there's nothing i can do about it. i was just like supporting, anything she said bcoz i didnt wanna embarass her in front of our friends. She didnt thank me or anything. She just acted like it's nothing and id forget about it. Just like that! I did feel so bad bcoz i had to lie to my friends. She didnt explain to me why she lies. I guess i was right. She was just havin fun. Poor gurls that im talking about are friends, those who live nearby the neighbourhood, Shahira, and Zakiah . Well, we live nearby each other's house. so we made a call, and an assembly haha..but that's not the point. The point is, Shahira constantly asking the same question, which Amalina had answered her over and over, different times, she still asks the same question everytime we go out together. " Amalina belajar kt mane skg?" . I think Shahira knew what kind of person Amalina was. She knew that there was somethin fishy .She was suspecious.Maybe I was the who had been fooled and blinded... To the extent, i think that's one of the reasons her best gals ( she had a group) sorta ditch her... i dono , u tell me..

i wish she didnt lie to me.. i wish she realised that i am not a stupid that she can lie to when she pleases.. i gave her chances. many chances . to fix herself.. she just threw it away.. i dont trust her words anymore. i dont call liars like her a friend. i dont need such friend. she was a very nice girl. but i dono who she is anymore. I guess she's changed. her changes include being more secretive and untrue to me. it is sad that i had to eliminate u from my life Amalina. u were my best friend. in fact, the best friend ive ever had... i tried so hard to spare our friendship from what i got to go through with Hani, my ex bestfriend. but u ruined it all by ur lies..that's terrible. u know what people say, " what goes around comes around". karma. u lied to me, u lied to ur dad (yeah ive seen it!) When Faiz lied to u, u cant really blame him u know.... u should think about that! ASK URSELF WHY!